Rousseau AKA The Enemy

     So this week in my history class we read a couple articles by this guy named Jean-Joque Rousseau. And basically he wrote an article titled "The Social Contract" which was about the human race being selfish creatures and needing to work as a whole, or what he called "The General Will," in order to survive. So, in order for this to happen everyone has to give up their individuality and all their material items and express the same thoughts and feelings.
     Great guy already!
      Next we read his article, Women: "Especially Constituted to Please Man." And that's when I lost it. When I first read the article on my own I took notes on it, here is a snippet of what my notes looked like:
     Article says: "Women should know their place."
     My Notes say: "*NO ONE LIKES YOU ROUSSEAU!"
     Article says: [Talking about the perfect couple] "One must be active and strong, the other passive and weak. One must have power and will, the other have little power of resistance."
     My Notes say: "1. I hate you.
                                 *I'm not writing any of your horrible beliefs down."
     Article says: "... this is not the law of love, but it is the law of Nature, which is anterior even to love...."
      My Notes say: "2.I'd like to throw you into nature.
                                 *And when I say nature, I mean wolves.
                                       -And bears."
      Other comments included, "When does Rebbecca Walker, Alice Paul and Tina Fey come in?" "Where is your grave, I'm going to attack it with my feminism!" Then I attempted to draw the Feminist symbol next to #FEMINISM at the bottom of my paper. Because this is how I take college notes.
     But, as I promised I'm going to talk about positive things. So, I'm going to list the terrible things that Rousseau says and then comment on how women have defied him and his mid-1700s beliefs on women.
      Rousseau said the "perfect couple" should be as different in personality as they are in anatomy. I say no! Women and men can be as alike as they want. Just because one guy is a doctor doesn't mean he should find a woman who is a maid. He and she can be with whoever they please! Today there is no rule on who you have to marry. As I've mentioned before, I love the movie and book Pride and Prejudice, and one of the lines Mr. Darcy has this wonderful quote when he is talking to Lizzy and confessing his love, "I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. " Because back in the day class was a big deal. Today it's more like a beautiful love story when the rich boy falls in love with the lower class girl. But in Jane Austen and Rousseau's time it was kind of important to marry someone of your own class. WE HAVE MOVED BEYOND THAT! Aren't you guys as happy as I am about this? Like, there are few restrictions. Just as long as you love each other you can be together (well, mostly). And Rousseau would be so angry if he saw a woman who was "above" her husband.
      That's another thing he was against. He thought women, as stated above, should be "passive and weak." He also talks about how women shouldn't be educated the same as man. He thought they should study "practical" subjects, like house work so to help the men continue with their work. Because everyone, as stated in his social contract, is working towards the same end-- but not in the same way. Well, sir, let me tell you a story. Later on in American History this strong woman named Elizabeth Blackwell went to medical school, the first woman to do so in the USA. And all of her professors were like, "She won't make it." But then she graduated first in her class! Rousseau would've DIED! In his personal opinion women should not inquire, they shouldn't explore and learn. Even though it was the Era of Enlightenment and it was all about learning and sharing ideas.
     Basically he said smart women were embarrassing. They should be left single and alone because no man should marry a smart woman. (I just shook my head in shame after writing that sentence, because it deserves a hardcore head shake and glare.) However, today we have overcome that obstacle! We can be as smart as we please, and even though women are sometimes looked down on as gross and ugly when they are associated with math and science and even computer studies, it's still better than what it used to be. We should encourage girls to get involved with these topics. Of course they're not for everyone, but just because we are women does not mean we cannot excel and pursue these fields of study. That's what Rousseau wouldn't want, and since he is the enemy, we should probably defy him as much as possible. Just saying.
      One of the topics Rousseau thought women should study was their man. Or as we said in class, "Know your dude!" They shouldn't think deeply on ALL men in general, but just the one's in their lives. You know, the one's they are "especially constituted to please." His thought was that they should always work towards benefiting the men and their lives, but how false is that! As a human race we should work towards pleasing others. I'm not saying let people walk over you, but don't just please man because you are a woman. Please who needs to be pleased, make the world happy by being happy yourself and helping others be happy. So many repeated words in that sentence and guess what-- I'M GONNA LEAVE IT BECAUSE IT'S MY BLOG! 
     And finally, Rousseau is quoted saying, "Woman is worth more as a woman, but less as a man..." Just take a moment to let that sink in. Okay. Are you done? Oh, another moment. Please, take your time.
     Better? Okay. Let's continue.
     In other words he's saying women shouldn't try to do man things, they should do womanly things because that's where they're most helpful. Um, no. Today, in this gloriously advanced day in age for Women's rights, women can be whatever they want! Pursue whatever field that want. Like I said before, there's still some struggle with fields being gender labeled. But it doesn't hold some people back. And I like those people. If you feel confident and passionate about it, GO FOR IT! I'm sure you'll be great at whatever you choose to do.
      Ugh, Rousseau you made me go on a feminist rage and that's okay. Because after reading you I went to my work study in the school of social work and all the feminism decorations I saw a people's office doors and on the walls made me happy. We are beyond this horrid man and moving forwards towards a brighter future. There is still work to do, but isn't it nice to look back and see how far we've come? It's comforting. And inspiring to continue to work towards equality.

#FEMINISM

#NotAFailedDrawingOnMyNotes

A Mostly Untitled Post About Rape, by Katie Watkins

     So today I'm not going to be writing the post, but my good friend Katie Watkins is. We've been friends for five years now and she is one of the most smart and inspiring people I know. Now, she has some great words of wisdom she wants to share with the world and I'm glad I could help her out.
So, I'll step back and let her talk now.

 

 

Let me start this off by saying that I don't want to call anyone out in this post. I try my best to understand that not everyone has dealt with a friend revealing their sexual assault to them, and therefore may not know how to respond properly. However I do want to get this out there to help friends of victims know how to help, and also to vent about some past experiences.

Last year, I was sexually assaulted by someone I had called my friend for a very long time. As much as that hurt, and believe me it hurt a lot, the responses I got were more painful. Many of my friends were supportive, particularly the ones who knew my attacker. That was a huge help. People that didn't know me as well, on the other hand, made some fairly hurtful comments. After I made an offhand comment about not wanting to die a virgin, I was told that I couldn't die a virgin because I had been sexually assaulted. Thank God for that- now I can be sure that I have experienced the joy of sex! I wasn't trying to comment on my physical state, anyway. That's really nobody's business but mine. I was making a point that if my friend didn't get his brakes fixed I could die without knowing the joys of consensual sex with someone I loved.

Other comments came from news media. The media portrayed the Steubenville rapists as the victims, partially influencing my decision not to report my attacker to the police. By doing so, I would be ridiculed for ruining his college scholarship and future in the Armed Forces. He would be the victim, and I would be the aggressor. Also, there would be a 3% chance of a conviction and a 97% chance of me delaying my college education to testify in a trial that would end in acquittal. I felt my reasoning was fairly solid, and my brother (a police officer) agreed. Others haven't been so sure. My fear of prosecuting him was interpreted by many as uncertainty over what happened- or worse, that I was falsely accusing him. I assure you, neither of those are reasons he is not currently in jail. Do I question my decision every day? Absolutely. I feel selfish for protecting myself and not the other women he will be around. I feel guilty for letting him get away. But every time I make the pros and cons list, I decide again not to prosecute. And I don't need the judgment from people who have never been through this. If a police officer has validated my fears about prosecuting, you really don't have much to add. No offense.

Some comments are left unspoken. A local radio station (rhymes with bun whoa who point free the fax) refuses to play rap music and omits the rap portions from popular songs. The implied reasoning is that rap music is objectionable to listeners. I'll save that argument for another day, but it's worth noting that immediately after playing a song with the rap portion omitted, they'll play the song "Blurred Lines". It's fairly common knowledge that the subject matter of that song is rape. Every time I hear that song, I am hurt and angry that rap is more objectionable to that station than rape. I also have panic attacks because of that song, which is *really safe* when I'm driving.

Last but certainly not least, politicians. Mostly Republican. Not that Democrats don't make these statements, but... I'm calling it as it is. Anyway, about a year before my assault, Roger Rivard, a Republican from Wisconsin, made a statement "some girls, they rape so easy". Well, thanks, Mr. Rivard. At least I can take comfort in the fact that you're alone in your feelings.... Oh wait. Nope. There have been dozens of statements similar to this one. To paraphrase a couple different politicians, if you know you're going to get raped you should just sit back and enjoy it. Yeah, I tried that, with no success. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: if you're a politician who hasn't been raped or sexually assaulted, stick to saying its a horrible thing that needs to stop and then (the most important part) SHUT the FUCK UP! Yeah yeah, harsh language. In all caps. I know. But it needed to be said.

"So, Katie, what do I do for my friends who are going through this?"

Great question. Here's a list:

Hugs. In large quantities.

Ask if they need anything.

Make absolutely no judgments.

Listen.

Help them make any necessary decisions, if they want.

And if all else fails, sing Matchbox 20's "If You're Gone". Thanks, Tommy.

 

 

The Good Things In Life--CASTLES!

I heard a bit of advice recently to not bash the things you hate, but praise the things you love. So, I've decided to keep that in mind for these next few blog posts (I have a list and it just keeps GROWING!). This is gonna be so great because being positive is the best! Trust me. I'm a blogger. Let's get this going then!

Social media is a big influence in our life, right? Right, obviously you're reading a blog, which is a media that is pretty social. But, the media I want to talk about today is television, specifically a little program called Castle on ABC.
I like Castle for many reasons. First off, the character the show is based off of is this fun writer dude. I want to be just like him! A famous writer (or just a writer will do) and someone who can easily keep in touch with his inner kid and unleash his creativity. And it's a murder-mystery show, which is one of my favorite genres of television.
Now, Castle, the character, has a deal with the city and is allowed to tag along with Detective Beckett while she solves murder cases to seek inspiration and such for his murder-mystery novels. Detective Beckett is who I want to talk about right now. She's a feminists dream come true.

She's very independent, and for the first five seasons I believe she was living on her own and was just dandy with that. She was never desperately looking for the perfect guy and hitting on every guy she saw.
Beckett is hella strong. Hella. She just owns every room she walks in because she has this grand dominance about herself. It's not her yelling at people, it's simply that she is Beckett and is confident. People know she's in power by how she acts. She's calm in every situation and can lead people with a genuine ease.
She's smart, I mean you have to in order to be one of New York's best detectives. She doesn't flaunt her smarts by being mean and loud. Like, do you ever see shows where the woman is smarter than everyone else typically and she just shouts and gets frustrated at them for being dumb? That's not Beckett. She works well with people and just informs them of her knowledge and they let her in on their own to help solve the case.
Beckett is aggressive. When she needs to she will be rough. She'll demand information out of suspects with as much for as necessary. She isn't afraid to run into action. She will stand up for what she believes in, even if it has dire consequences.
She's honorable. She's been searching for the justice her murdered mother deserves for years and refused to stop until she succeeded. She will always stand up for those she loves with a selflessness that can only be found in a very few strong people.
And the best part, Beckett in no way can be classified as a bitch. She is just this great detective who does her job very well. And she does it with a little help too.
There's Castle, of course. He's very nice. A single man with a daughter who is fun-loving and compassionate. I like the way he kind of balances his personality. Early in the show he was this lavish writer with money to burn and woman to make swoon. But he's evolved. He's not the most serious person and defies this idea that all men are either mindless or the dominant role.
That's not true with Richard Castle. Beckett very often keeps him in his place on the team, he's important to the team, but Beckett is the leader and he knows it. And he's a family man, he's not distant from his daughter, they actually have this wonderful relationship that most parents dream of. They're open with each other and still play laser tag together.
              
Lanie, like Beckett. She's the independent and smart medical examiner on the show. She's a lot like Beckett in ways that she's a leader in a male-dominated field but acts like a normal human and not a dramatic woman role.

Then there's the pair of Esposito and Ryan. These two best friends are great. Esposito is this very big masculine macho man. He's muscle and hard working, and a bit of a ladies man. Ryan is smaller, he's married and a new daddy! Some might say he's "softer" than Esposito and maybe more feminine, but I like Ryan just the way he is. He lives his own life and is just as good a detective as any member of the team. Like normal people, these two have their strengths and weakness.
Ryan strength is the books, research and such, but that doesn't mean that he never leaves his desk. And just because Espositos is obviously very strong and a real fighter doesn't mean he spends his free time at the gym waiting to get the call to chase a bad guy down the street and take him down. Both can be seen doing their equal share of these jobs. Ryan will go out on the field and Esposito can be seen sitting at a desk buried in papers researching and working his brain.

(I'm going to assume you can tell which is which based on my descriptions of them.)
A pretty recent change is in captains at the police station. It was a man who everyone was familiar with, he had their back and supported their outlandish ideas because he trusted them as much as they trusted him. Now, this brave man is gone. And to fill his shoes is Captain Victoria Gates.
                                  
When she first came everyone HATED her. She was this obscenely aggressive woman who stuck to the rule book and let nothing happen. She even threatened to take away Castle's right to be a part of the team, even though at this point he'd become a key member. But then we started to see a softer side of Captain Gates and she loosened up. She started to become a part of the family like the past Captain. Captain Gates is a very strong woman, she's still strict and defensive, but it's for the better. She stopped looking like a mindless robot and became more human.
The great thing about this show is that the characters are human they aren't overly this and overly that, they're balanced. They don't stick to stereotypes and show the proper emotion when the time is right. They have individual personalities and fit together like a nice family. There is no dumb-nut and smart-mouth, just equals in their own individual ways.

"Let me take your man card"

When I first heard of the concept of a "man card" I laughed. The idea that everyone had a man card and it could be revoked or given. I used this term every now and then as a joke, but recently I heard it and got kind of upset over it.
This person was saying that if a man has ever gotten a manicure they shouldn't be allowed to have their man card. Can you tell what got to me? It's the fact that apparently there are activities that are reserved for women only and that if a man does that it makes him less of a man. Come on dude. Come on!
There are things to be enjoyed in this world and let people enjoy them. We are changing the world with our acceptance of more feminine men and this statement just sets us back. Yes, manicures and spray tans are typically done by women, but if a man wants to do it, YOLO SWAG you go for it! And then we all just sit back and let others be happy.
This is equality, if we want to be accepted in men-dominated fields we have to allow men to do some of the more "feminine" things. It's like when you're a kid and your sister asks if she can play with your doll. Well, she didn't let you play with her doll last week so you're not going to let her play with your doll. And even if we don't get our way I think it's best that we just be kind to others. It'll encourage more kindness.
The world was made to be equal. We're all mixed together in this place so we can't say "Okay, you sit here, and I'll sit here. Don't cross this line. No, no." *Swats hand*
It's time to be okay with men crossing the line, because we're already crossing it ourselves.
Another thing I heard once was that a person was saying that when guys had snapchat best friends that are also guys she questioned them and thought it was weird. And that, my friends, is one of the dumbest things to be bothered by.
There are wars and starvation and riots going on and you're upset that a boy has a another boy as his best friend? ON SNAPCHAT! I'm best friends with my cousin, we must be doing incest. And you're best friends with another girl, does that make me question you? No! You guys just make each other laugh all the time. That's usually the point of snapchatting.
You might be thinking this is turning into a gay rights rant, but it's not. Though that is important we're still on that feminist track.
Today I want to say that equality is a two-way street. If we want to be treated as an human being by the world, we have to treat the world as human beings. It's hard not to get upset by some things, but we have to learn to be accepting.
It can even go towards women. An aggressive woman in the workforce can be perceived as a heartless bitch, which is topically how the media portrays them. But as long as they aren't actually crazy, this is good! They're doing what they're good at so PRAISE! Women like that are going out and changing the world.
It's time to step up and do what you like, even if it means stepping up and out of our comfort zone. Don't be afraid of what others will think, show and prove to them that you're the best their possibly is. They'll come around eventually, and if they don't but you still know what you're doing is good, YOLO SWAG go for it!
Remember kids: People are people, and feelings are feelings, and those things are unstoppable. So, don't let others stop you! You are great and you will win!

ATTEN HUT!

     Today we're going to take a moment to talk about soliders. They're fighters and defenders and epic and all that. But why is this a male dominated field?

     Obviously it's because all women are physically weaker than men and emotionally unstable. 

     Well, that's at least what the pentagon thinks. How great are these people? Women can't be on the frontline and do combat jobs. Because who knows what might happen up there. Women could just fall down from weakness or cry at the sight of a dead body. It's too risky. 

     Officially, they can fight, but they don't get to actually fight combat too much. Which I oppose. If a woman works hard enough and can become strong enough she can fight, a lot of women are strong enough to actually fight up their with the big boys, and they've proved themselves.

     Now, the next part of the argument is that women are too emotionally.

     Well my friend, I like to say that men and women are human. I don't know about you, but that's just my view on the world. She breathes, he breaths, and so on. And humans are emotional beings, meaning we feel emotion. So if humans feel emotions then that means women feel emotions (because, you know, they're human) and if men are humans... Oh man, they must feel emotions too.

     MIND BLOWN. 

     So what I guess I'm saying is this crazy idea is that maybe there are men out in the world who are not emotionally able to be on the front line. Whoa. It's like there's a process to get people into the combat position and that process helps decide if the person-- AKA human-- is really capable of being in combat. 

     Huh. That's a real thought provoker, ain't it?

     I'm just saying, just because one solider is a woman doesn't mean she can't have a pretty tough skin.

     We talked about this in a class one day, some people lean towards "masculine" traits, and some "feminine" traits, others are balanced between the two. You see, we took a short little test to determine this and this led to a discussion of how men don't want to have anything to do with being too "feminine."

     Sadly, those traits can appear to be the "weaker" traits and since a lot of women are more inclined to those traits women are sometimes seen as the weaker beings. But many women have developed the masculine traits, and it's not a problem. It's not a problem to be either way, (too an extent, any trait that's too much can be problematic.) but the problem is men not wanting to develop the feminine traits.
         They are far-right manly men. They don't want to be sensitive and romantic, they want to be self-reliant and realistic. And they might be these things, but let me tell you about the discussion we had as a class.
     We go to an all-girl's school, and the teacher asked for the people who had strong masculine traits. Several girls unashamedly raised their hands. But we thought about what would happen if we were at one of the all-boys schools in the area if the teacher asked for the students with strong feminine traits.
     If you guessed that no one would raise their hands, you guessed right. To them it's embarrassing to be labeled as "girly" or something of that sort because they leaned towards those traits. It makes them seem weak, or worse gay. 
    The thing is, boys, you're human. And these are human personality traits. So you're going to have a little of each, or even a lot of each. Girls have masculine traits and no problem admitting it, now it's your turn.
    Be a human, accept whatever personality you have. It's probably a fabulous one.
    So, if boys can have strong feminist traits then women can have strong masculine traits. And I bet that makes them want to do some "masculine" things. But it's frowned upon sometimes, or not as wildly popular as it should be.
    Have you ever heard of "pink collar" jobs? Because they're a thing. You could probably list a few of these jobs just off the top of your head. Teacher, nurse, etc. These are jobs women typically dominate, which is good. I'm not against women nurses or anything, but I have a problem when it comes to a point when people think these are jobs only for women.
    I remember the first time my friend's dad told me he was a nurse. I was shocked, I thought all nurses were women! But it didn't change my opinion of him. If he wanted to be a nurse, then go for it bro. Well, I don't like that as a kid I thought nurses had to be women, and that men in that field were unusual.
    If a man wants to be in a "pink collar" job, then good for him. If a woman wants to do something different, excellent. I believe I mentioned in an earlier post the quote, "Never tell your daughter she can be anything, because she should already know that." And that's what I want the world to come to.
    I want a world where girls growing up dreaming of being astronauts as well as princess, and boys teachers as well as football players. Because either gender can follow any path. The world holds many opportunities and limiting either side is just wrong.
    It starts when they're kids, playing with toys that typically teach them one trait or another. Dolls and kitchens teach kids to be compassionate and how to have conversations. Trucks and legos teach kids how to be constructive and ambitious. Telling a kid he or she can't play with one of them because they don't fall under the category of their gender is depriving them of possibilities. And the ability to become balanced in their personality. They should be invited to play with any toy they prefer, and develop life skills for the future.
    Because every kid is different. Some are more one way than the other, some are balanced.
    The point of this post is that a man can be an emotional mess, just as a woman can. But those who can handle it will go tot the front line, so let them.

Let's have a Disney moment

I had a revelation while watching The Little Mermaid: In all the movies the women are many things, like small, young and looking for a man. And not just like a date, but like a life long commitment. And that's annoying, because then that's all little girls think they have to look forward to, and that, my friends, is the definition of ridiculous.
Every person has so much potential. In a class I'm taking called "life choices" we learned about our philosophies of life, and we brainstormed. We were asked what are some things we find absolutely true, and I said "Life is what you make it."
There are two ways to tell a story. Two ways to knit a sweater. Two ways to sing a song. Two ways for everything! So, you can be positive or negative, and the messages some older Disney movies send out is a negative message that girls only have a husband to look for.
Now, I say older Disney movies, because have you SEEN new Disney movies? THEY'RE GREAT!

The Princess and the Frog-- Tiana is all, "Mama, I ain't got time for dancing!" And she's got this excellent work ethic and she tends to prove the man a fool more than she's made to be one.
One time I heard a girl say, "Tiana kinda bothers me." And my eyes almost fell out of my head. I was like, "Oh, so you don't like strong, independent women? Girl, I know you. You are anything BUT weak and submissive. Support your girl Tiana. She's helping young girls see the world in a better light. A where they can pursue dreams of their own that actually don't involve finding a husband and living in a castle (Which is what I like to call the real world.)"
NEXT!

Frozen- WOW! Elsa is all, "I'm just going to do me. What even are husbands? Um, Ana, you can't freaking fall in love with someone in a matter of minutes." (A thing that Ariel and Eric did). And then she's like, "I know it's way way way back then and women have no rights, but not only am I going to become a single queen, like no other Disney movie has ever done without making her a witch, but I'm also gonna break free and be on my own!"
**SPOILER ALERT**
And then the ending. Ah, so perf! You're all caught up in the moment, wanting Christophe to move faster and to give Ana true love's kiss to warm her heart and stop her from freezing alive. Then there's this total plot twist you didn't see coming. The focus on not a romantic love, but the love of a family member, which is just as strong as any kind of love.
I think that sends a good message to the next generation. It's saying that the search for romantic love doesn't have to consume our lives. There are other things in life that are just as important, if not more.
And it's great to see Ana's growth through the movie because she realizes this point. At the beginning when the ball is about to happen she is excited because she might meet "The One." And she is totally motivated by that goal, she falls in love with the first guy she sees and then runs to him in need of true love's kiss. But in the end she's saved not by a kiss, but by saving her own sister and the love she proved through that action.
And this movie also says it's okay not to have a husband, like I said, Elsa is a single queen, but she still rules. Her sister may have found love, but she is perfectly content with herself. I think that's great for kids to hear, that they can be happy without a spouse.
And you know who says that best?
This movie would answer with a loud and proud NO! to the question: "If you had the chance to change your fate, WOOOUUULLLD YA!?"
That's right ladies and gentlemen: BRAVE!

Do you see that body? So normal looking and not Barbie Princess "perfect."
And THAT HAIR! So unkempt, so free, so UNIQUE!
We applaud her bravery and strength to do "manly" things, like archery and not eating like a "princess."
And the movie is so perfect. She has three forced love interests but she chooses HERSELF! She's like, "SINGLE FOR LIFE!" And she's happy! She's more than happy, that girl is successful. She defeats a freaking BEAR and brings her mother back to a normal life!
That movie is the ultimate. Every little girl should be in love with it. It sends a great message and represents a lifestyle that is not uncommon today, though we act like it is. (The same dayI heard a girl say she didn't like Tiana I also heard a girl say she didn't like Merida. I almost cried.)
After years of helpless princesses in need of a husband society has it in it's mind that a woman should hold up to those standards.
I can prove this, ask a girl if she has a wedding planned out and she will say yes. Because every girl at least thinks about it, even if they don't have a detailed ceremony they at least know if they want a big or small one and what style of dress they want. But, ask a boy and I doubt he has.
Why is this phenomenon happening? Well, that's because a girl's future is uncertain, but one thing they think they need to have on their future timeline is a marriage. Because if a woman doesn't get married or at least find a life partner they will end up as an crazy old cat lady.
I hate that stereotype. Hate it. Why are women destined to be something that's "crazy" and "old" and of course with a million cats. That title is just a mouth full of negative words and fills your mind with sad images. When a man will simply remain as a bachelor.
Oh how positive that term is compared to CRAZY OLD CAT LADY! A bachelor is handsome, he gets girls and is rich and has a happy lifestyle. While a Cat Lady is envisioned to be sad and lonely and boring and pitiful. I know a bunch of older single women and they are doing awesome!
I wish that instead of girls turning into crazy old cat ladies they just turned into independent women. Imagine them happy, living their own life, enjoying the company of friends and family, taking part in activities that they enjoy. And yeah, they might have a cat. Cats are awesome.
And maybe her single male neighbor is equally happy and also has a cat.
What a great world that would be to live in.
And girls would happily go on with their school career not thinking, "Oh my god I don't have a boyfriend, I'm forever alone!" That would remove a lot of despair when they continue forward in life and start focusing on themselves and what makes them happy and what's happening in their life that doesn't involve relying on the attention of a significant other to make them happy.
Personally I don't mind not having a boyfriend. I don't need one. I can do things without one, I can go out, I can laugh, I can learn, I can dance, I can do whatever! And in the future if I never find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will be okay with that. This might be because I'm a pretty big introvert and enjoy alone time, but I do think it's a great way to think.
Independence is okay, woman or man, you don't need to focus your efforts on impressing future husbands and wives, and you don't need to become obsessed with it and let society's idea that you need a life partner get to you.
Just be you! And have fun with it so that you're happy. Just like Tiana, Elsa, and Merida.
As us nerfighters say, "DFTB! Don't Forget To Be Awesome!"

You Gotta Get Da Women's Vote

     So, today in Women's Issues we discussed voting. Now, we've watched clips from this fabulous movie called "The Iron Jawed Angels" about the woman suffrage movement and that has inspired me to make sure I vote at every single oppurtunity. Like, if you're just an American citizen you should vote, but if you are a woman, get your butt down to those polls! These women suffered for you. Like, a lot more than you think.
     Anyways, we continued the conversation by talking about the statistics of women voting. Now, it's very sad and not as high as if should be. We are women and we need people in office to represent us, therefore we should vote for the candidate we think will do the job best. This way we will be represented, and maybe this will lead to more women in high office, because that's also a thing that needs to start happening more frequently. Sorry middle-aged white men, but you don't know what the women think. And I don't know if you noticed, but we take up a nice big percentage of USA citizens (51%).
      Now, the other thing that bothered me was the fact that when running candidates have a focus on women and getting their vote. First, we just need to get out and vote in general. But, secondly, I thought it was borderline offensive that there's "people" and then "women." Like, they're setting their strategies, "Okay, we'll say this to get women, but we'll say this to get people in general."
     It's a silly thing to get upset about, really, but the thing is it got me thinking. Why don't they have an aim towards men? Well my friends, it's because the world has already been tailor made for them fellars. Think about it, for men life has been a breeze. They can make money, they can make more money, women find them undoubtedly desirable because they're helpless and need them and the man's money, and for a long time they could get away with some pretty sneaky stuff, but one word and a woman was in jail. The only bad part about being a man was that if you did go to jail for the same crime as a woman, they would have no problem killing you, but for the woman they'd probably show some mercy and just sentence her to a life in prison.
     You got your rights first thing when this country was established, but women had to fight for the same rights they should have been given as an American citizen. So, yeah, that's why most people aim to help girls. I sympathize for you when you feel in pain because you don't have washboard abs and fabulous hair and you think you should. But women have had such a struggle bus existence.
     By now life is pretty good for us, but there are still some petty big things that need to come to be. Like, fair wages, and the right to do what they want with their bodies. And the only way to get this is to get some representation in government. To get a woman in their who will fight for it and make things happen!
     Then, once we start fixing the things that are important to women in America and become the land where everyone is free and equal we can move on to other important things that are problems in the government. Like, I don't know, our current economic status.
      Now, I'm not saying let's put any women in government, that is not how that works. We need to find the right person to go and make a change in the world. It could be a man too, there might be one out their who knows what needs to get done, but a woman would be nice. One who is qualified and driven.
     And some people out in the world think that putting a woman in government wouldn't be helpful because they can't do it right. They might get emotional and have their period or need to be home with their children. Poor poor things. The thing is no. Just no. First off, have we found any male president that was perfect? Has their been on man in government who everyone has just agreed with and been satisfied? Think about it.
     Done thinking? Because the answer is no. There has not. They are one person representing A BUNCH of people, there is no way they can be perfect. So the same goes for a woman in office because they're humans too.
     And as for the periods. I'm shaking my head. A woman can keep her sanity while on her period, you are crazy thinking as soon as she starts she starts freaking out and making irrational decisions like declaring war on Canada. And our government doesn't allow that, it has a system that prevents stupid, irrational decisions made from one person from happening. And besides, typically when women and men get into office they are older and I don't know if you know this, but women don't have their periods forever.
     Plus, when they're done with their periods and have gone through that stage the kids that they may have have grown up and don't need Mom around every second to wipe their butts. They've got Dad for that.
     In summary: two things that people think are going to be a problem that are not actual problems are women needing to be at home and mythical periods that are way worse than they really actually are. Come on guys, it's 2014. Let's get things straight, and an equally represented government with diversity.

Did you see her in the new movie? HAWT HAWT HAWT!

While watching Miss Independent the notion came across that women in movies are there to serve mens needs first and they're to be made a fool of while the man just chills. And it never occurred to me, but dats true.
Like, if you want a good romance, watch Pride and Prejudice that girl, Elizabeth, she's strong. Jane Austen wrote that book to make fun of society's views on women, so she defied it and made Lizzie Bennet this strong independent woman. And she loves to "improve her mind by extensive reading."

Now, that book is referenced in one of my all time favorite movies: You've Got Mail. 
It's super cute about the early days of e-mail when two strangers become pen pals and know nothing of each other. But one day they decide to meet. Now, this scene never bothered me until I saw Miss Independent. Because, just as Tom Hanks is walking up to the coffee shop to see her for the first time he is super nervous.
He talks about how nervous he is because she might not be pretty. Now, dude, you've been talking to this girl for a few weeks, you are enchanted by the things that she says, the insights she has, and you love the poetic way she talks of New York City. But his biggest concern right now is how pretty she may or may not be.
Today, everyone only thinks of outer beauty, even when they've witnessed true inner beauty they can't get past the face. Mostly this is found in women. It's typically like, "Oh my God did she win the noble peace prize for doing that really great thing that changed the world? Wow. She's so brave. But not very pretty."
This is the part of the conversation that everyone should do a double take and say, "Da F? Does that even matter at this point?" Or you could answer sarcastically, "Oh, you're right. That's the criteria for the noble peace prize, a pretty face, because only pretty people can change the world."

NO!

Do you see that big "NO!" that I made red and underlined? Well, that's because it's important. 
NO: Women do not have to be pretty to be accomplished. Anyone can do anything.
NO: Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. 
And these ideas don't just apply to media and all that, it applies to every day life.
I cannot tell you how disgusted I am with myself when I hear, "I don't know why he's dating her, she's not that pretty." And I automatically respond with, "Maybe she has a winning personality!" It's a reflex guys, before this year I never realized how offensive that "joke" was. 
And I usually hear it from girls who have to look cute when the go to school to try and impress boys. Which is annoying too, because guys aren't trying to impress us, they just sit back and enjoy the show. This makes school become a life game of "hot or not" for boys and a beauty pageant for girls. Girls go and focus on their appearance and not on the school work, and boys either actually focus on the school work or how hot a girl is, not how accomplished she is.
GIRLS! Do not let that grade school chant die, "GIRLS GO TO COLLEGE TO GET MORE KNOWLEDGE, BOYS GO TO JUPITER TO GET MORE STUPIDER!" I'm not saying guys have no purpose in life besides being stupid, that's almost as bad as saying the only reason girls exist is to please men. But girls, put some effort forward. We should all have goals to obtain as much knowledge as possible. To be as smart as we can, and reach our full potential.
The focus should be knowledge and personality. Honestly guys and gals go out with the goal of finding the hottest mate possible, but shouldn't we be looking for someone who will stick with us forever and make us happy? That's my goal. The guy with washboard abs is not always going to be the man for me. The man who laughs at my jokes and listens to my stories no matter how obnoxious they are is the man for me.
So here's a baby step to getting caught up in the world of hot or not: When imagining your future significant other (husband, wife, life partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) imagine a normal person. Not that movie star who's face has been photoshopped more than Michael Jackson was surgically changed in some way.
Here's another baby step when imaging that person: Don't focus on his or her appearance, imagine their life story, the way they laugh, if they can cook or not, how eager they are to go to amusement parks. Of course you're probably never going to find the exact copy of this person, but it opens up so many more doors than 6", green eyes, blonde hair, great pecks.
Those people might not be for you, or even in existence.
So yeah, he probably is dating her for her personality, because the girl who wears too much eye linear likes Bruno Mars, but the girl he's dating that isn't up to your twisted idea of pretty likes Franz Ferdinand, his favorite band. And I apologize that this boy prefers to actually talk and have something in common with his girlfriend than just have a pretty face to look at. Though he's got that too, because inner beauty has this amazing ability to create outer beauty to those who look hard enough to find it.
That's why we should all be like Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail  and admit outer beauty isn't everything.

"Kevin, this is possibly the most adorable creature I've ever been in contact with, and if she turns out to be as good looking as a mailbox... I would be crazy enough to turn my life upside down and marry her."

SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE SAY WHAT!

     So I just got the news and there are tears in my eyes: 17 Magazine has vowed not to alter images! Isn't this spectacular! They're taking a huge step towards being a decent magazine!
I remember when Aerie did this, and it was so amazing. There were just girls modeling the underwear with tattoos and muffin tops and acne and it was just like, "Whoa. It's, like, a real human." And 17 Magazine is major. I feel like this movement is going to start hitting the world big time. Who knows, maybe Victoria Secret will do something like this.
     Shh... do you hear that? It's the sound of the next generation who will see less photoshopped unhealthy models cheering. TOGETHER WE SHALL ALL CHEER! GO SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE!
Everyone is just going to feel so much better about their bodies and other people's bodies. Because that's a big thing, not only are you expecting yourself to look like those images, but you expect others to look like the images and then they're self conscious because they think you're thinking that about them and they're already thinking it about themselves and then you're self conscious because you're thinking the exact same thing and your whole idea of the human body is distorted and you don't know where to look without feeling sad or judgmental.
    Wow. That's a lot of thinking we do on a subject that shouldn't be so complicated. You either look one way or you don't. Like, you can't just be like, "Oh, you don't like my nose. Here, let me just adjust it." (And the worst part is the next line would be, "Do you like me now?" But that's not a sound way to start a friendship. Trust me.)
     We aren't made out of clay, we're made out of human material, which is set. And photoshop has created this world where that is possible, but only in the images they present and only to a select few people. And that world has spread into the minds of those who see it, so to us it's become normal. We think they're real bodies and faces, when they are normal, just fixed to be perfect. And therefore, taking away these images and presenting a fantastic REAL picture is great! It's going to change the world, I swear.
Now, to you, 17 Magazine, I say, let's get started on that content. PLEAAASSEE NO MORE STORIES/ARTICLES OF GIRLS ONLY FOCUSED ON BOYS AND CLOTHES!! Please. Let's expand our horizons and let girls now they are not trapped in the closet a man made them. Let's allow them to understand that they can do anything and everything. And they can build it themselves, because they're awesome and their lives shouldn't be controlled by a man. Okay? Okay.

"You do you, and I'll do me"

     This is kind of the quote of every Graphic Design project I did, because my friend sitting next to me would be doing something so much more different than me, so to keep our freaking out levels down, we kept to this motto. It's practically the new "hakuna matata." But it came to us through a mutally loved YouTuber Tyler Oakley, and he would say this in reference to life situations, which is how it should be applied.
     I've probably promised time and time again that I'm not blogging to judge, I'm here to help you do you. The articles we analysed all seemed to be telling girls one thing: That cute boy has control over you. You, as a girl have one job: get that boy to like you. DON'T do anything that might make you unattractive for you. It's not that the magazine says, "DON'T YOU BECOME A MATHELETE" it just never says, "If you wanna be a mathelete, go be a mathelete!" it says things like, "Do you have a cute make-up caboodle? No? Oh, well Marcy has one and SHE has a boyfriend. Coincidence, I THINK NOT." Not in those words, exactly.
      (It's a good thing we don't live in Harry Potter's world or else the magazine might roll itself up and swat your hand whenever you try to do something deemed "unattractive." Like, you open up a book titled "He's a stud she's a slut," *SWAT!* then it'd say, "No, you're going to look like an angry annoying feminist. And trust me Derek is not about that life. Here, paint your finger nails. He loves pink finger nails." Does he magazine? Does he really care? He probably can't get past her beautiful smile to notice what she's reading, so don't swat her hand away!)
      Anyways, girls can feel this pressure, like a magazine swatting their hands away from a good read, to do the things they think will impress a boy. And the things kids read teach them that if they either fall under one stereotype or the other, there is no in between, and only a few result in acceptance. So, if Marcy with her caboodle and skinny body gets the boy and all the friends, then if I get a caboodle and a skinny body I'll get the boy and all the friends that I've wanted!
LOL no. That's no fun! That's a really sucky life to live. Becoming something just to obtain something that might be cool.
     This is where my philosophy comes in: You do you, I'll do me.

     What I’m getting at is do what you love as long as you love it. I know it’s been said time and time again, and you think it’s stupid by now, but that’s because you obviously haven’t found what you love yet. Trust me, it takes time to find that one thing you LOVE and want to be devoted to for the rest of your life, or just for a really long time. That's not a sucky life to live, that's a rockin' life to live! 

     Don’t let the stereotypes hold you back. Disney Channel and 17 magazine might say only pretty, not-so-smart girls get friends popularity and out of trouble, but that’s not true. Now, the polar opposite doesn't have these qualities automatically either. Anyone can do anything.

     I’m not judging, that’s not my reason for doing this, it’s to let girls know being a girl doesn't mean existence only has to do with the things in this magazine. To put it in the words of a beloved writer, Allie Brosh, You can do ALL THE THINGS!

You like fashion—awesome. Read up, draw, go shopping.

You like science—awesome. Read up, study and don’t think your talents make you ugly.

You like ice skating—awesome. Practice, glide and fly.

You like rugby—awesome. Practice, stay strong and play your heart out. 

     Being yourself, and going beyond what you think is normal and acceptable is the way to find great things and great people! Have strength to do it, too. I know it's hard.

There's this girl in my class who I admire so much. She is super unique and doesn't give a poop about what anyone thinks of her, she likes it, so she does it. And every time I see her with a wig on, or outrageous make-up I always give her props because A) she probably had to wake up early to do that, and B) SHE HAS SO MUCH CONFIDENCE AND BRAVERY! I want to be just like her, I don't want to be her, I want to be able to do things like say the things I want to say and say them loud enough for people to hear. (Hey, I'm kind of doing that right now! woooooooowwwwww!) And, I want to be fearless when I go out in public in the clothes I like or doing what I like to do, like cheer loudly at a football game. 

     This girl inspires me to do these kinds of things, which is awesome! I highly suggest finding that person, they can be a close friend or a near stranger, like this girl I keep talking about. Now you're probably going to stop reading because I'm some creeper who watches people from a distance and then talks about them on the internet. Well you know what, maybe she's just like a celebrity! They can be great inspirations. Like Lady Gaga, because she is 100% okay with herself and being open about being herself. 

     So go out and find that inspiration and take baby steps towards being you! Don't listen to the voices that say your way is wrong. Your way could totally be right! Then life will be a PAR-TAY! 

                  

Why I'm Here

     So, I didn't start this blog the day after my class explored the feministic hell of "17 Magazine." I thought about it a lot, because I wanted it to be special and helpful. There were things to be considered, like where I wanted to blog, what i wanted each post to be like, what the content would be, and so forth. So, my friend and I were talking and getting angry over a analysis of the messages the mass media was sending to girls, and we were just fuming over it. But I realized that being angry wasn't getting us anywhere. We could talk each other's ears off in class and scream in rage at home, but the world will stay the same. I wanted to take action! I knew what I wanted my blog to be about: Telling girls that they can live a life that isn't the norm in these magazines, and also, reach out to boys to know that girl's standards aren't the models and their lives are going to be greater than becoming their wives.
     But I still didn't even create a blog.
     Then, one day, in study, i was reading over my notes for my women's issues test, and i came across those articles and analysis that got me so fired up, and i was still angry at them. Then a thought popped in my head: What if i started this blog and someone commented saying, "If you don't like the magazine then why talk about it? A lot of people like it, and you're just being an annoying little brat getting angry at it. So, just let it be. You can ignore it if you want." And to that I say: No! I CAN'T IGNORE IT! AND THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
     I'm not going to rant about how bad the mass media is, I'm not going to denounce people who want to pursue fashion or love to know everything about their favorite celebrity, I'm not here to shove facts down people's throats about how great women are, I'm not here to try and create a perfect reality, I'm here for many other things.

     I’m here to say that a girl’s life is not the twisted fairytale reality of 17 Magazine where all that goes on in a girl’s mind is boys, make-up, clothes and being skinny. It’s about so much more! Girls are so smart—it’s true, we’re geniuses!—and so complex. And I’m here for the boys too. You gotta learn too. Girls are your equal, mostly because they’re human, just like you. So don’t get stuck in the “housewife” mindset. And I understand that you may feel like you have to be the hulk star quarter back with rock hard abs and rocking hair, and I’ll address that issue too.

      I’m not judging, anyone here. I’m not judging people who like the magazine for the fashion tips and to keep up with celebrities and find exercises to do, as long as it’s in a healthy sense and they don’t see this as the only life they can live as females.

     I’m here for to teach people about the potential life holds for them beyond the distorted picture the mass media is trying to promote. Because I want the world to be great, and it can be if we allow every person’s potential to be fulfilled!

     A great quote is “Don’t tell your daughter she can be anything. Because she should already know it.” So, my goal is to make this a reality for girls. I know I won’t write a post and then BAM every girl goes out and does what she loves and becomes the person she’d love to be and every boy acknowledges their greatness without looking like a photo shopped model, and suddenly the government is half men and half women (or maybe like 51% women so that truly match up with the percentage in the world). So I’m going to state my mission in the Emily Dickinson poem “If I can stop”

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease on life the aching, or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

      And I didn't just copy and past that here, it’s tapped around the edges of my laptop screen to remind me what I’m going to do. And now I’m going to promise to read anything that is e-mailed to me, and respond/address any pressing topics. And notice I keep saying “people” and “persons” rather than just one or the other sexes. Because I’m here for both, I have this philosophy that if you feel something than it’s real, simply because you are feeling it. I don’t care if you feel this deepset depression because your favorite character on TV was killed off, I won’t stop listening to you or comforting you until you feel better. So I’m here for all the humans, because I’m what I like to call an “equalist” due to my belief that humans are humans no matter the emotions or actions.

     So, there. That’s why I’m here and hopefully I can help at least one person!

      Now for something that will help anyone when needed:

 

(And if this doesn't work, I suggest trying to BE the t-rex making the bed.)

How I got here

     I've considered myself a feminist for the past couple of years. It probably started when I began school at an all girls high school, this was a great place for feminism to be loud and proud. Then, over the years discussion between friends and sometimes as topics in class about equality came up. Some girls would sit back calmly, or ignore what was being said, but it always had me on the edge of my seat and my mind thinking of solutions to these problems (which shouldn't be problems), and eventually I began igniting these types of conversations. So, my senior year I decided to take a class called "Women's Issues."
     Now, the first unit was about women in the media, and let me tell you, this was not a new topic to me. I'd watched the video in my Catholic Morals class "Killing Us Softly," and when I had no homework in study my friend and I would flip through a magazine and see which ad could make us angriest due to it's sexualization of women. However, in this class we didn't just discuss ads (though they were mentioned a lot) we also talked about the content in a magazine called "17 Magazine." Oh, honey, that's when things got real for me.
I reacted to it the way I react to a lot of things: through sarcasm.
     It was a small class and towards the end I realized i was the only one talking, and I was saying things like, "POOR GIRL! Listen to her sad, sad life: Her friends are out doing stuff without her, that cute boy from world history won't text her back, and-- oh this is the worst-- SHE DOESN'T LIKE ANY OF HER WINTER CLOTHES! What is she going to do!?" My teacher commented on a couple of things I said and friends laughed or commented sarcastically along with me. So on the way out I just made this casual comment: "What if I started a blog where I made sarcastic comments about 17 magazine?"
     Well, I did this thing where I started a blog.
     This isn't going to be only sarcastic comments on 17 magazine (though that black hole that's trying to suck our young women down into will be a focus here). I have, like, real goals for this blog.
     So let's get started!