If You Gather A Group of Women

Here is something I've noticed in the groups I've been a part of: We all have our stories.
Now, this can mean when you gather a group of Assumption High School alums together they all have memories of favorite teachers, classes, and lunches, or complaints of the uniform rules, or anything similar. Stories can always be great, but sometimes stories aren't sweet memories that one has grown fond of. Sometimes they're realities that should be addressed and demolished. Allow me to give some examples of these stories.

If you gather a group of female dancers together they each have stories of facing body issues. Times when they looked in the mirror and hated the shape of their body. Days when their butts were too big, stomach too bloated, calves too small, thighs too big. Others, fall to eating disorders. Some dancers have stories of other people noticing and commenting on their weight, whether it was a fellow dancer, or even a teacher. Some handle these in healthy manners: improved diet, targeted exercises. But we each have these stories, because they are held to high standards as not only dancers, but as women. Especially as young women, budding trends who have found an interest in boys or girls, and have been bombarded with messages from pop culture and the media of what the perfect body should be. Inside and outside the dance studio these women are aware of their bodies, what they're doing, and what they look like.

It doesn't stop there. When you gather a group of poets and writers-- some of the most creative minds-- and ask them one thing they'd like to change about themselves they will all go around the room and mention a body part. Each will give an answer similar to "flatter stomach," "well-defined arms," or "Carrie Underwood legs." None will think of maybe adding something, like the ability to read minds, or fairy wings. None will think about changing their attitudes, or how fast they can run. They'd just like to look more like the models on magazine covers.

Now, internal struggles are not the only thing women talk about. The first time I realized groups of women had their stories was when I was at my retail job.

If you gather a group of retail working women they will all have their stories of feeling uncomfortable with a male customer. Sometimes it's because they flirt, ask for your number so many times you have to call a manager over to get him to leave, or just don't like they way he stands so close or makes eye contact across the aisle. Other times it's because he's reached for your breast, or visits far too often, waiting to bump into you and not allowing any other worker to help him. The work environment is very safe, as managers are prepared to do what it takes to get the person off your back, and will always listen if you have a problem, and these situations can be few and far between. But, still, we all somehow collect these stories  that are either just a case of being uncomfortable, or a situation that is far worse. Because, sometimes being friendly for your job comes across as invitations to ask you out, or even prompt a "If you and your boyfriend weren't dating I'd ask you out in a heartbeat." It may be cute in the movies, but those are scripted, and romanticized. And, we are rarely vibing off of that, just trying to get you to buy our product, and not complain to the manager that we had been rude. But, those are a whole other type of story that us women have.

If you gather a group of women together, and certain topics come up, they all have their stories. Listen. And hope that one day the numbers dwindle.