She had to go to the bathroom, and I wanted merch, so we headed to the basement. She told me to think very seriously about this. I didn't, because I'd already made up my mind. I purchased a poster because it says "Now and Forever" on the top, and a program so I could have some pictures of the cast. When she came out of the bathroom I told her I still wanted to return, even if I was alone. She, however, didn't want either of us walking alone on these streets in the dark, so she was coming along. We headed up to the box office, where we could avoid the expensive processing fee of buying tickets online.
The man at the box office recognized us and asked, "Did you all just see the show?"
I couldn't make eye contact as I told him, "Yes. And it was amazing, and I sobbed. This was the closest I could get to fulfilling a childhood dream."
Mom pulled out her card, but I slipped mine to him faster. I had wanted to use the visa gift card my sisters had given me, but he couldn't split the payment, and the gift card would only cover part of one ticket. This was the most, "TAKE MY MONEY" moment I've ever experienced.
Again Mom and I were faced with trying to find somewhere to eat dinner. While in line we'd spotted a cuban restaurant, and decided to check it out. I imagined they'd turn us away, the proximity to the theater should've booked it full constantly. At least, that's how it works in downtown Louisville. If there's a show and you want to eat within a block radius at a nice restaurant, then good luck to ya. But, they seated us immediately, and the tables only started to fill after we'd ordered.
Mom ordered wine, I held back. I ordered a simple (as simple as it got) salad, trying to be easy on my stomach. My heart was still racing from the show, my ears rung from the music, and I couldn't stop thinking about how we were going back. I'd been quiet most of the trip, as Mom does most of the talking, and I enjoy listening to her, while sometimes simultaneously daydreaming. It's comforting to be with my Mom because of this ease of conversation. But, she did get slightly annoyed when I kept picking my phone up, typing away and ignoring her. I was trying to cultivate the perfect message for the CATS instagram page, in hopes that they'd give me special treatment. I was banking on the man who sold us tickets to tell the cast a young girl and her Mom had purchased tickets to see the show back to back and to look out for her seat. But I was hoping for access to stay after the final bow, as some family members and famous people get to do so they can hang out on the stage with cast members.
I didn't get this, though I hoped. I mentioned a ritual assignment I had in a previous post. I had also dreamed, oh so slightly, of asking to go backstage to witness any pre-performance rituals. I do love hanging out backstage. It has such a mysticism to it when you're young, as it's where melodramatic actresses apply lipstick in mirrors surrounded by light bulbs. It's where no one but actors are allowed, as it's their sacred space, and you, the lay person, may not enter. And, it's always full of a mix of energy and zen. Performers hype each other up, and let off steam before going on stage. There are people who prefer quiet, and get in the zone before taking on their roles. It's a truly magical place, and I miss it dearly.
We finished our meals, both were delicious, and even ordered dessert as a special treat. I don't think I thanked my Mom enough on this trip. She had bought the plane tickets, the hotel room, the first CATS tickets, and almost every meal. Whenever I needed something, she offered her money. When we got home, she even tried to give the visa card back to my sisters, but they refused her offer. Her and my Dad made this dream come true, and they are honestly a true blessing. We went to dinner recently, before seeing a choreographer's showcase at the Louisville ballet, and she said grace before the meal. I bowed my head in reverence, but sent a quick note to God before saying Amen. I have already been blessed, and been given many gifts, because my parents are who they are. My Mom should be a saint, solely because she didn't complain once about seeing a show she enjoys, but may not have cared to see twice in a row, all because I love it truly with all my heart, and she didn't want me to be alone at night in a strange city.
I will admit to feeling some doubt about seeing the show twice. When the first song began, I worried it would taint the memory of the first show, or that I'd get bored watching it again. By the time the "Naming of Cats" came around, I had assured myself it was the right choice. I didn't get to touch "paws" with a cat during this performance, but Tantomile, one of the mystic twins, made intense eye contact with me. I wasn't sure if I should mouth along the words to prove I'm a true fan, to look at her as if I was afraid, or to smile. I went with, make-my-eyes-as-big-and-innocent-as-possible-and-try-and-hold-a-brave-face-also-don't-cry-or-do-see-what-happens. I didn't cry, just held eye contact, afraid of losing this connection with a star of CATS. She had thin eyes, just as Tantomile should, and I wondered what she thought of me. Perhaps Samantha Sturm told the others about a crying woman whom she'd touched paws, and the box office man told the cast about the return couple, who cried during the performance, and this attention was my special treatment.
I almost forgot, remember the girls at the first show, with the makeup adn hair and ears? Well, they were outdone. This performance contained a fan in a full Rum Tum Tugger costume. This is beyond extra, allow me to explain.
This is Rum Tum Tugger:
This costume involves a mane, which should make it super weird to wear to a performance. And this person was no amateur. They had the wig, and the mane, and a tail. My Mom thought it might be actual cast member, but I debunked this because I'm the biggest nerd and that the Broadway Tugger (Bottom) has three puff balls on his tail (Which some of the kittens adorably batted around during his song), and the movie (Top) has no puff balls. The person dressed up had the movie tail, therefore they were not part of the Broadway cast. This person also strategically sat in the spot where Tugger usually goes to take pictures with audience members. That was kind of fun, and I wondered how common it was to have cosplayers in the crowd.
On with the performance!
We had shifted sections, from being in Orchestra left, to now center Orchestra, closer to the right side. The seats weren't staggered, as the left and right sections were, so i was stuck right in front of the person in the seat ahead of me. But, we still had amazing seats. I got to see the show from a whole new angle, taking in different aspects of the performance, careful to watch the background cats and their antics. I witnessed one cat grabbed Tugger's attention when they were off to the side, and then grabbing a pole, lifting their legs, and sliding down the pole. Tugger laughed, not audibly, but visibly, at the playful cat.
When intermission came I kind of left Mom in the dust, trying to get up on the stage. Well, I didn't try, I successfully got up there. It's a really amazing set, and I can't imagine how the set crew put it all together. It's a junkyard, and it's from the perspective of cats, so all the objects are random, but way oversized. There's a bra hanging up, a giant baby rattle, an oven, the signature tire and car trunk, and so much more on the set. And you can see where it changes from set to backstage by peeking through the entrance doors. I was afraid to touch the set, but I wanted to climb and explore it so badly. I took pictures with shaky hands, and tried to take a selfie with Deuteronomy, but it was hard with all the people. I walked across the stage, pausing to look out at the crowd, all busy checking phones and playbills, coming and going from the bathroom or bar, or talking about the madness they had just witnessed. The stage is raked, meaning it tilts upwards slightly, and the floor is also covered in painted on trash. I'd practically forgotten that aspect of the set until I looked down while standing on the giant tiger's head. I tried not to linger too long, and made my exit from the stage, returning to my Mom. We hadn't gotten good pictures of me tonight, she had tried to get some of me on stage, but people kept moving around and making the picture blur. And at the first performance we walked up to the stage and took my picture there. I was holding on to my CATS cup and the tissue I'd been crying into. But I'm smiling, and I don't think you can tell I just sobbed my way through act one.
When intermission came I kind of left Mom in the dust, trying to get up on the stage. Well, I didn't try, I successfully got up there. It's a really amazing set, and I can't imagine how the set crew put it all together. It's a junkyard, and it's from the perspective of cats, so all the objects are random, but way oversized. There's a bra hanging up, a giant baby rattle, an oven, the signature tire and car trunk, and so much more on the set. And you can see where it changes from set to backstage by peeking through the entrance doors. I was afraid to touch the set, but I wanted to climb and explore it so badly. I took pictures with shaky hands, and tried to take a selfie with Deuteronomy, but it was hard with all the people. I walked across the stage, pausing to look out at the crowd, all busy checking phones and playbills, coming and going from the bathroom or bar, or talking about the madness they had just witnessed. The stage is raked, meaning it tilts upwards slightly, and the floor is also covered in painted on trash. I'd practically forgotten that aspect of the set until I looked down while standing on the giant tiger's head. I tried not to linger too long, and made my exit from the stage, returning to my Mom. We hadn't gotten good pictures of me tonight, she had tried to get some of me on stage, but people kept moving around and making the picture blur. And at the first performance we walked up to the stage and took my picture there. I was holding on to my CATS cup and the tissue I'd been crying into. But I'm smiling, and I don't think you can tell I just sobbed my way through act one.
During this performance I also fell in love with the people behind me. It seemed to be two couples, and one couple were clearly Broadway regulars. They told their friends about the show, and how it's all singing, as musicals sometimes are. The man described it as, "An intricate rock show," which is extremely accurate. You just meet character after character, and though the plot may not be as strong as other performances, it is still there, and to me, it's entertaining. The man also showed how nerdy he is by saying the second act is the best part. He explained that Mistoflees song is great, "Macavity" is a real jammer, and that Skimbleshank's song is the best song, hands down. It was a nice change of pace after "The slow songs make me want to go to sleep" guy.
I didn't cry as much during this performance, which was good because I could stop watching through wet eyes and worrying that the tissue was making my skin red. Of course, I couldn't help but cry during the final number, "Addressing of Cats." It gets me emotional on the DVD, as it's the end to the show, and the end of our time together. In the DVD it does several close ups of the cat's faces, all looking up to Old Deuteronomy as he sings to them. During this second performance, I tilted my shin up to look directly at Old Deuteronomy, and began to cry, as I was once again as close as I'll ever be to performing on Broadway. My tears didn't bring a cat to touch my hand, as Demeter had done, so I kept an eye on my cat, Sillabub/Jemima. Rarely letting my eyes roam to other cats, thinking of all the years spent looking at the moon, of feeling my heart flutter at the word "memory," and my days of dreaming of being in her place.
The cast took their bows, and it was time to leave the theatre for good. I was thankful for the opportunity to see the show, and then to see it again. It all felt so surreal, and I was blown away with the show, as I had half feared it be like the touring shows. It took us five minutes to return to the hotel, and Mom was very surprised by this, even though everyone she asked said we could definitely walk to the show from the hotel. It was getting late when we returned, and there was about an hour of stress when we realized we hadn't set up the car to pick us up for the airport tomorrow. I tried to avoid the stress, as I was avoiding taking off my dress and my make up. All of this would ruin the magic that had just happened. It would call the night to an end, a return to reality, and I didn't want that. But, I had to give in. One can't linger too long, no matter how grand it may be. I let the night become a memory, one of my most precious memories that I have.
When we returned home the next day I was more quiet than usual. I spent all of my time thinking about the things I didn't want to forget: the types of turns the cast did, the inflection of their lines, the excitement of being in the theatre, or anything i found even remotely important. I think about the moment we landed regularly, as I drive by the airport almost on a daily basis. I think about how I looked at the New York skyline during take off, aching to be back. I daydream about not changing lanes and taking the airport exit, as if I was just back in Louisville for a visit and it was time to return up North. This is, of course, partially because I miss CATS so much, and it breaks my heart to know that the show has closed and it may disappear for another 10+ years if we're lucky.
I will stop writing about CATS now, but now you all know how much it means to me. I know it's dorky, I know it doesn't make a lot of sense and it's weird for people to dress up as cats to dance and hiss across the stage. But it's honestly amazing to me. The dancing is always perfect, choreography executed by skillful dancers, I can't help but sing along to the songs, and over the years I've grown very attached to the characters. I would give anything to see it again on Broadway, but instead, I'll leave my memories of it here, now and forever.
I didn't cry as much during this performance, which was good because I could stop watching through wet eyes and worrying that the tissue was making my skin red. Of course, I couldn't help but cry during the final number, "Addressing of Cats." It gets me emotional on the DVD, as it's the end to the show, and the end of our time together. In the DVD it does several close ups of the cat's faces, all looking up to Old Deuteronomy as he sings to them. During this second performance, I tilted my shin up to look directly at Old Deuteronomy, and began to cry, as I was once again as close as I'll ever be to performing on Broadway. My tears didn't bring a cat to touch my hand, as Demeter had done, so I kept an eye on my cat, Sillabub/Jemima. Rarely letting my eyes roam to other cats, thinking of all the years spent looking at the moon, of feeling my heart flutter at the word "memory," and my days of dreaming of being in her place.
The cast took their bows, and it was time to leave the theatre for good. I was thankful for the opportunity to see the show, and then to see it again. It all felt so surreal, and I was blown away with the show, as I had half feared it be like the touring shows. It took us five minutes to return to the hotel, and Mom was very surprised by this, even though everyone she asked said we could definitely walk to the show from the hotel. It was getting late when we returned, and there was about an hour of stress when we realized we hadn't set up the car to pick us up for the airport tomorrow. I tried to avoid the stress, as I was avoiding taking off my dress and my make up. All of this would ruin the magic that had just happened. It would call the night to an end, a return to reality, and I didn't want that. But, I had to give in. One can't linger too long, no matter how grand it may be. I let the night become a memory, one of my most precious memories that I have.
When we returned home the next day I was more quiet than usual. I spent all of my time thinking about the things I didn't want to forget: the types of turns the cast did, the inflection of their lines, the excitement of being in the theatre, or anything i found even remotely important. I think about the moment we landed regularly, as I drive by the airport almost on a daily basis. I think about how I looked at the New York skyline during take off, aching to be back. I daydream about not changing lanes and taking the airport exit, as if I was just back in Louisville for a visit and it was time to return up North. This is, of course, partially because I miss CATS so much, and it breaks my heart to know that the show has closed and it may disappear for another 10+ years if we're lucky.
I will stop writing about CATS now, but now you all know how much it means to me. I know it's dorky, I know it doesn't make a lot of sense and it's weird for people to dress up as cats to dance and hiss across the stage. But it's honestly amazing to me. The dancing is always perfect, choreography executed by skillful dancers, I can't help but sing along to the songs, and over the years I've grown very attached to the characters. I would give anything to see it again on Broadway, but instead, I'll leave my memories of it here, now and forever.
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